As soon as I celebrated my well-earned retirement at work, my daughter-in-law started hinting quite bluntly that I should move to the countryside to live with her parents. “It’s peaceful there, and a village is a village—you can visit whenever you like,” she said. This is the story of how my daughter-in-law decided that after retiring, I ought to leave the city for the countryside—and how it stirred up tension in our family.
**A Well-Earned Rest**
I’m 60, and I’ve just retired. I spent my whole career as a nurse in a city hospital, and truthfully, I’d been looking forward to this moment. My colleagues gave me a warm send-off—flowers, a cake, kind words. I’d planned to finally focus on myself: walks in the park, joining a seniors’ dance group, maybe even a seaside holiday. I live in my own one-bed flat in the city, not far from my son and his family.
My son, Edward, has been married for seven years to his wife, Gemma. They’ve got two kids, five and three. I’ve always helped out—picking the grandkids up from nursery, babysitting when Gemma and Edward were at work. But after retiring, I wanted some time for myself. Things didn’t exactly go as I’d hoped.
**The Proposal**
A week into my retirement, Gemma invited me over for tea. I thought she just wanted to catch up or congratulate me properly. But she got straight to the point: “Mum, now that you’re retired, you’ve got all this free time. Maybe you could move to the countryside with my parents? It’s peaceful there, fresh air, a bit of gardening. We’d visit with the kids whenever we fancied.” At first, I thought she was joking. But Gemma was dead serious.
She explained that her parents lived in a village about forty miles outside the city, in a big house, and they’d “love the company.” She added, “A village is a village—quiet, no city noise or smog.” I asked, “Why should I move? My home’s here, my friends, my life.” Gemma said it’d be “easier for everyone.” I could “escape the city hustle,” and they’d rest easier knowing I was “looked after.”
**How I Felt**
I was stunned. First, I don’t want to live in the countryside. I’m a city person—I like cafés, the cinema, strolls in the park. I’ve only ever visited villages, and I find them dull. Second, I realised Gemma wants my flat. She and Edward live in a two-bed with the kids, and she’s complained before about it being cramped. Clearly, she thinks if I leave, they can take over my place.
I told her plainly, “Gemma, I’m not moving to the countryside. I’ve got my own life, and I want to stay here.” She took offence, saying I “didn’t care about family.” Edward stayed quiet, but I could tell he was avoiding the topic—probably talked into thinking this was reasonable.
**What Now?**
Now I’m torn. On one hand, I don’t want to strain things with my son and his wife. I adore my grandkids and don’t mind helping—but not at the cost of my freedom. On the other, I feel pressured: Gemma keeps implying I’m “selfish” for refusing. I’ve even considered renting out my flat and disappearing for a month or two, just to get them off my back. But that’s no real solution.
If you’ve been in a spot like this, tell me how you handled it. How do I set boundaries without ruining things with my son? Should I talk to Edward alone? I’d appreciate any advice.